Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Dirty Dozen

I saw it on bluray at target for like 10 bucks so I had to grab it. It's a pretty damn good movie. It's been a while since I've seen an old World War movie so I had to get back in the mode of long movies with lots of pissed off officers always yelling at each other, but after that I was game. So check it out if you don't have a Transformers 1 or 2 movie attention span (IE a brain). Thank god for old action movies, when explosions were real and so were the men.

The Good: Lee Marvin is a our good guy. He has to whip some prisoners (the badddddest bad asses) into doing a top secret mission. There is only one man who can do this and that is Marvin, he kicks their ass, throws em around, and laughs in their face all the time.

All the training stuff is filled with old school comedy that actually has some class (not like robots humping Megan Fox's leg). They do funny shit like capture an officer that is messing with them just to show how much they rock.

There is one great scene where there are 8 "girls" hired or something to go spend the night with the dozen and there is a good 3 minute awkward silence where they are just staring at each other. All the girls get chosen then Charles Bronson (resident god of action) in his infinite class dances with the ugliest and oldest one with a huge grin on his face. Thats MANDOM.

The Bad: ZEEEEE GERMANS. Yup they are made fun of, look dumb, and killed like pigs when the mission starts. I guess that's what happens when your Nazi scum. Being that the movie was made in mid sixties they didn't explore the PC bs of "the Germans were just following orders." They just whoop their ass hardcore prison rules style.

The Ugly: There is a fat ass prisoner named Maggot who kills women and would be the ugliest and sickest POS in the movie. Good thing he gets his.

The Badass: Jefferson is this huge black dude (played by football star Jim Brown) who does a mad dash while throwing grenades down holes into a shelter where the pesky Nazis are hiding. The guy can fuckin move and completes the mission with zeal. = BADASS. Or what we call in movies the HNIC (head nigga in charge).

The Food: Eat some Sausage and laugh about how much fun 12 prisoners have blowin up Nazis.


  1. "Thank god for old action movies, when explosions were real and so were the men." Haha.

    Great review. And the still you chose was pure awesomeness.

  2. Train them, excite them, arm them, and turn them loose on the Nazi High Command!