Sunday, August 9, 2009

GI Joe: Rise of "What Just Happened"

GI Joe wow what's to say? Well if you liked the corny cartoon you will love the movie (I hope), because the movie is probably a little more corny than the cartoon. So basically I sat down thinking wow this is gonna either be amazing and shitty. It was AMAZING.

Since no one likes to read extensive reviews on movies they haven't seen I will just trick everyone into actually giving it a chance. You can flame me later :D.

I am just gonna hit a few key points one should know before seeing.

Jet pack flying into a spaceship thing.

Ninja fights.

Shitty dialogue.

Flashbacks of a long lost love.

A submarine dog fight.

Laser or plasma guns(not sure).

Workout/training sequence.

Threat of nanobot world holocaust.

The line "We lost a lot of Joes out there today."

Really shitty CG mixed with some of the coolest CG of a ninja dodging flying cars.

Snake Eyes is still the most legit mofo in ninja history.

So that should get your ass to the theater to see a goddamn action film that should have been made in the 80s it's so good. I must say though some times the action would be so much I would find myself asking "what the fuck just happened" out loud. This isn't a bad "what just happened" more like the feeling of seeing your best friend get abducted by aliens or your cat spontaneously combusts.


  1. You would have thought the Baroness/Scarlett fight would have forced some partial nudity and provocative outfits.

    Sadly it did not.

  2. Hey, glad you liked my GI Joe review. Not a lot of people I've talked to seem to have shared my opinions. By the way, I loved your little write-up here. It put the first smile of the day on my face just now. The phrase "submarine dog fight" is just awesome.